You can’t have everything going well or perfect in your life. It upsets the balance. And apparently trying to hide your submission of the bad stuff also upsets the balance.
Trying to keep the peace- I naturally keep my feelings to myself. Painting what I thought was a half way decent picture of happiness and tranquility. To keep the negatives away until alone in the dark of the night it was safe to cry. Trying to be outwardly strong and resilient for my whole family. Only relaying the necessary feelings.
This method has both served me well and blown up in my face. And while the bad always comes with the good. I wish for once I could keep my feelings and not feel like I have failed.
A certain sense of turmoil has erupted within me… I’m still not sure which is right, but then if I knew I wouldn’t be here writing my mental/emotional throw up again.
Maybe I’m hoping someone will read this and understand me a little better. Maybe I’m hoping that this will stop the emotional storm I’m in. Maybe, maybe.
Until the next curve ball…(maybe next time I’ll remember my mitt)